Braaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnsssss
by ifancyremus
Summary: Kurt and Blaine only have one thing on their minds, until a mystery in Blaine's closet shows Blaine's real desire... Braaaaaaaaains!


**AN: This is my first Klaine fic! Obviously my mind went to a weird place when I was given the prompt "Klaine Zombie Apocalypse". Enjoy, and feel free to review!**

* * *

"Blaine, I can't believe you store your lube in the very back of the top shelf in this closet. How do you even reach it when I'm not here?" Kurt flexed his fingers a bit, hoping to close the few centimeters between his hand and the elusive bottle.

Blaine's gaze didn't waver from the exposed skin where his boyfriend's shirt had ridden up as he replied, "Maybe it's just a ploy to ogle you from behind?"

The chair Kurt was precariously balanced on wobbled a bit as the brunette started at the comment. A year into this relationship, he still couldn't get used to the provocative comments or the octave Blaine's voice dropped to when he made them. "Regardless of your intentions, you aren't getting any until you find me a way to get this down. We are not asking your brother. While he may have become embarrassingly aware of our...recreational activities, I would like to pretend he isn't."

Blaine chuckled and rose from the bed, glancing at Kurt's ass one more time before walking towards the door. "I think my mom has one of those weird grabby things with the alligator heads on them. I'll be right back. I promise to channel my inner ninja. Cooper will never know."

Kurt snorted and rolled his eyes at his adorable boyfriend's retreating back. He was such a dork. "I'd be able to reach this damn bottle if I had gone with my original choice of footwear," he thought, huffing as he looked down at his stylish yet unhelpful saddle shoes that he had chosen over the tall, knee-high boots that were sitting in his closet at home.

As he moved his arm from side to side in a fruitless attempt to dislodge his target, Kurt disturbed a shoebox lying further forward on the shelf, knocking it to the floor with a thud. The boy cursed to himself as he jumped to the floor, hurrying to check if he broke anything in the box.

When he got a closer look, Kurt began to giggle. He tried to stifle the noise, but his chuckles instead grew louder. Soon his eyes were tearing and his mouth was pressed against his shoulder in an attempt to muffle the obnoxious sound. Unfortunately, Blaine chose that moment to reenter the room.

Bushy brows knit in confusion as the junior stared down at the scene, his normally composed boyfriend looking quite unhinged for no apparent reason. "Did Cooper bring you food while I was gone? I told you never to eat anything he gave you! Who knows what the hell he put in them." Blaine started pacing, opening his mouth in preparation to shout for his immature older brother.

"No!" Kurt choked out. "Not...Coop. The...box-" laughter overtook him once again.

If anything, Blaine was more confused that before. "Box? Kurt? What-" As he approached the momentarily incapacitated boy, Blaine blushed as his eyes fell on the object that had reduced his boyfriend to a state of incoherency. "I-I can explain..."

"And what is the reason you have a Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit hidden in your closet?" Kurt's laughter had subsided a bit, but his eyes were shining as he teased the other boy.

"In preparation for the zombie apocalypse, obviously." Both boys looked up at the voice. Blaine groaned when he realized that the matter-of-fact statement came from his brother, who was pointing at the box as if it held the source of the apocalypse rather than a trivial attempt at protection from it.

"Coop, go away. I'm a big boy. I can have conversations all by myself."

"Obviously not, little brother. You're paying too much attention to Kurt while talking to him. Let me handle this."

Before his brother could utilize any more ludicrous acting methods - For God's sake, this was real life, not a movie! - Blaine stood up and walked over to him. "Coop. Please go away. My boyfriend and I are hanging out and we would like to be alone, thank you."

Cooper's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, and Blaine could see exactly the path his mind was taking. Oh well, it wasn't like he was wrong. As his brother left the room, the younger sibling closed his eyes and leaned back against the door, composing himself before peering at Kurt through his eyelids.

From his new perch on the bed, Kurt motioned for him to join him, patting the empty expanse of duvet next to him. When Blaine took a seat, Kurt took his hand and waited until the caramel eyes met his.

"Blaine. I'm sorry if my teasing upset you. I love that you're an adorable dork. You're my adorable dork."

Blaine responded with a small smile, but it soon faded with a sigh. "It's not your fault, babe. It's-"

"Cooper?" Kurt supplied with an understanding smile. Blaine loved that he knew his thoughts and feelings so well.

"Yeah. I know he means well, but he's so frustrating to deal with sometimes. It's gotten better, thanks to your intuitiveness," Blaine nudged Kurt's shoulder with his own, emphasizing his thanks. "It's just...he wasn't always this way. We weren't always this way. In fact, that stupid kit was his idea. I was like nine, and my big brother was leaving me to go to college. I told him I was scared that he couldn't protect me when I'm gone, so we made the kit. Dumb, I know. I don't know why I still have it."

"You kept it because you love your brother, Blaine." Kurt reached up and grasped the other boy's chin, turning him so they were facing each other. "It's not dumb. Not at all."

Blaine leant in and kissed his boyfriend. What was intended as simple thank you grew more heated as he realized just how lucky he was to have this boy. Blaine pushed him back into the mattress, straddling Kurt and kissing him with increasing fervor.

Suddenly, Kurt pulled away and stared at a spot over Blaine's shoulder. Blaine felt his head clear as he panted a bit. "What is it?" he asked, trying to turn around.

Kurt's eyes widened a bit more as he responded. "Braaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnsssss!" He tried to keep up the act, but succumbed to a fit of giggles.

Blaine groaned but smiled at his boyfriend's joke. Blaine knew he was lucky to have someone who could make him laugh regardless of how moody he was feeling.

The smile turned into a smirk as the eyes beneath the angular eyebrows took on a mischievous glint. Realization flickered in Kurt's eyes a moment too late. As Blaine's fingers connected with Kurt's ribs, the most blatantly ticklish spot on his body, one thing was on his mind. Payback.


End file.
